A Mother's Love

It's been getting worse, the quarrels btwn my sis and mum. On one hand, my mum has always been difficult to reason with; on the other hand, I feel that cho's personality has been getting more and more abrasive. I'm stuck in the middle. Each time I try to play the mediator, I get hit left right and centre. I'm tired of it and I wish my mum wasn't the way she is. There must be more to being a Mum than providing for me. What about the conversations, the strength, the warmth presence of a Mum? I need to be able to sit down and talk things out but I can't because my mum has the reasoning powers of an eighteen year-old. We always end up arguing about the most ridiculous things and it never fails to end with her scolding abt how the nieghbours can hear. I've even tried penning my thoughts down but she never replied. Omg I must sound really weird now. My family has never been a model family, maybe save for when we were young, and through the years, I realised that being able to understand me or listen to what I have to say isn't at the top of the priority list. Ever since mum's bout of depression, I've been constantly worried about the future. If a sudden change in jobs and a hysterectomy can precipitate such behaviour, who is to know what will happen if dad were no longer around one day? I dread thinking about these things. Right now, I jus wish to have a happy, warm and loving family.

Such a fantastically tall order.