Hmm..it's hard to be happy when there's nth in life except studying and coming home to family. Studying in sch is quite fun sometimes..talking nonsense and having a study buddy. But that's only the rare, in-between moments of happiness. Coming home is supposed to be relaxing and warm and homely. I think I have a house, but I'm not too sure about the home bit. Sometimes, I wished for a different family. It sounds so terrible but nobody really understands how I feel living with someone like Mum (except cho). Nobody can understand. I'm really so pissed off sometimes and I'm so afraid I will not want to take care of my mum when she's old. I want to love my mum and tell her my secrets and spend the day out with her, but it's just impossible right now. And possibly forever. I don't want a mum whom I can't carry out any kind of conversation with, who gets impatient ever so easily and is always spoiling the mood. I need someone who can rationalise, think and behave appropriately. I don't know how to describe mum. Feelings can't always be put into words. Especially not with my limited vocabulary.

Anyway, it's 3 days to the patho exam. Last day of full day mugging in sch tmr. Looking forward to after it when I can move on with other aspects of my life, meet up with friends and do my cofm writeup.