Stuff happened in the family today and I'm as usual too tired to talk about it.
I am really envious, almost jealous of how some people have such happy families. I'm not talking about a perfect family..I just want what forms the basis of relationships. Communication, respect, tolerance. I do not understand how I can love someone who does not respect me, listen to what I have to say, and is simply so quarrelsome and unpleasant. I'm really reaching the end of my threshold which in all fairness is beyond what I ever thought possible. Frustration aside, I feel so shit sad that I am unable to love and am not loved. I wish there were a day when that wouldn't matter to me any longer. I always dream of starting my own family and think of how it will be cosy and loving and how it wouldn't be like this, but sometimes I'm so afraid that things will turn out the same.