A New Beginning

it's been awhile since i last blogged.

exams exams! 2 more papers out of 6 and I already know i've failed one. since coming into medsch, my expectations have dropped drastically. now i'll be happy knowing i got in the 50-60 range.

the past week has been eventful..busy..crazy.

i played for my first-ever praise and worship session. it's what i've always wanted to do..and i thank God and the rest for giving me this opportunity. may this be the beginning of what is to come, as i use the gift He has blessed me with, to love and serve Him.

It wasn't always a period of highs, i was quite sick with the flu too. i was annoyed, almost angry, that he allowed it to happen..despite my agreeing to play in the midst of school and exams and driving test. but everything resolved nicely in the end. I even passed my driving test! beams.

been feeling quite..ugh about myself lately. think i look quite tired and haggard from all the studying already and it's only the second year! kinda wish i could have a makeover..my hair..makeup..more clothes. how superficial really, but it's just one of those days.

ok back to my books! i'll be free in 3 days more. woohoo.

thanks to 2 lovely flowers for your concern. gasp i jus realised that u two dun have any colours!
sorry if i caused any worry..was jus feeling really terrible and needed somewhere to put it all down. i don't know how long it'll take for all the memories and feelings to fade. it feels like i'd locked them up and stored that box away somewhere in me..and once in awhile the magical lock gets broken and everything gushes out..consuming all the happiness and love that surrounds me..leaving nothing but regret, sorrow and pain.

it makes me feel like i'm a terrible person through and through. it's my first anniversary with n today. how could i have feelings for one, and still miss the other. tsktsk. someone needs to give me a slap and wake me up.

driving test in 9 days!! :p

maybe I should never have watched you go
it reminded me of how i still love you so