It doesn't make sense to grin and bear with it anymore.

I hate being being accused of doing something I didn't. This isn't the first time you're doing that. I really hate it. So I shouted back, loudly and angrily. And you scolded me for being so rude. Well, you know what? I hate myself too. And I hate you for turning me into this rude, impatient, bitter, unpleasant person that I never was. You claim that it's a small matter and didn't warrant my outburst. Idiot. You obviously don't know what it feels like to be maligned because none of us do that to you.

It upset me so much when you were depressed. I prayed and wished then that you would go back to your normal self. That was how much it hurt to see you depressed and half-crazed at times. At that time, it seemed like a better option. Now, maybe the previous option would have been better. Better than you being you and driving everybody in the house mad. Either way, you make me unhappy.

I'm so afraid of having to care for you in future. Unreasonable or depressed, I hate both sides of you. It is as bad as it sounds, and I feel so ******* sorry for myself.

So we went to lunch and I was prepared to forget all about that matter. But no, you had to bring up the issue of the epilator YET AGAIN and make all kinds of proclamations about the evil it would bring, and how it would turn me into a gorilla and how I'm not satisfied with what I have. If you had tried listening to my countless attempts at explaining things to you, you wouldn't be trying to sound like such an authority about epilators. So I stormed off on the way to lunch. I would rather eat by myself than have such an irritating person for company.

If you can't behave properly and be a more enjoyable person to be with, why should I always have to bear with this Shit Nonsense Crap. I don't. And I don't want to anymore.

turning 23...

Sounds old! :P But not really either, I suppose.

I was very touched this year by friends who made it a special birthday. The meddies who celebrated with me after the dreaded patho..the pple who dated me out to shop for my present..my pedicure surprise..a super huge piglet..meeting one-half of my favourite couple..ending off with dinner and lovely company over the weekend.

Thanks for the effort, for making it a not-lonely birthday. When I was young, birthdays were occasions to look forward to because of the presents. This year, it's a reminder for me to count my blessings. The rainbow has always been there, hiding behind the beeeeg cloud.

And just because I obviously can't quite forget.

All the world is a stage
And everyone has their part
But how was I to know which way the story'd go
How was I to know you'd break
You'd break, you'd break, you'd break
You'd break my heart

I've always been in love with you
I guess you've always known it's true
You took my love for granted
Why, oh, why
The show is over
Say good-bye

I just love to be my own wet blanket sometimes.

What better way to start the year than by slacking off on new year's day? And having a revision lecture the day after?? Wonderful.

I've never felt worse studying than now! urgh! No mood at all with christmas new year and all the sales on.

Resolutions are so cliche but i want a few goals for myself:

1. Keep healthy
- Jog at least once a week. It actually feels good exercising.
- Do 30 sit ups every night. My flab is showing.
2. Finances
- Spend only cash that I have. No withdrawing or visa anymore.
3. School
- Study at least 2 hours everyday. Sounds alright but it's so damn hard after a long day at clinics.
4. God
- Read 1 chapter everyday. I'm moving my bible from my table to my bed.
5. Friends
- Be the friend that I want to have. Let pple know they matter. Call more, sms more, email more, meet up more. I foresee that this will be the hardest of all. Not because I don't care, but we all have our own lives.
6. Family
- We'll see how this goes.
7. Sth to accomplish for the year.
- Jazz piano. Get a good book and start practising :)

Back to the books. I can do this!
New song for the new year, no more feeling bitter or sad.
I'm starting with the small things.