It feels like a very long time. Pre-clinics started on monday, which was a day full of lectures in the morn at sch, followed by more briefings at sgh. The long day was made even longer when i decided to go to town with sher, cause i wanted to buy a new bag. my pretty bag bought a long time ago in korea is too small! ugh. my feet were aching like hell and i didn't find a bag i liked. plus lugging my heavy bag around is so painful. soon, I can imagine myself with lopsided shoulders. labcoat, bottle, pencil case, log book, note book, file, steth, wallet, ugh!

tuesday was spent in sch having mask-fitting followed by venipuncture. exciting! luckily it was just the dummy..sher and i both kinda messed up our first and only time.heh. had dinner with n after that, and had another long day.

today was communication skills; got to go to the wards for the first time proper and talk to patients. It was a day of Strokes. Positive strokes, eye contact, smiles, anything to make a stranger comfortable. It was also about self-validation, and leading the conversation. kinda fun at first, but it became not-so-fun after we met a very talkative old man, another incoherent old man, and a few depressed old people. so sad. jus got back not long ago after dinner and i'm v tired again.

look forward to tmr..surgery is up next. hope for a nice tutor!!

gotta go bathe and read up more. tiring but interesting days beckon.

I woke up early today! at 9. It's relatively early, seeing that I've been waking up at 12 the past few days. It's probably one of the last few times I'm seeing my hostel room. Have to pack up everything and transport them home. Feel a little sad..really used to having my own space, not having anyone grumble at me. Taking breaks with n in between studying, having a dvd marathon, playing with our 'pets' the bears and the dog, even deciding where to go for dinner will be very fond memories.

The deadline btwn n and i which always seemed like a joke took a more serious tone today. It's been what i want him to understand, and now that he has, i don't feel so certain anymore.

checklist.
1. pack
2. buy books
3. go home
4. meet css pple for church
5. meet chris

2 flowers, 2 days in a row :) (it was lorac yest).

due to really inefficient admin, the results will only be out tmr. such torture, really! no butter factory tonight then :( and plus i've been studying today. well, i guess, better viva than supp.

This beats hello kitty hands-down (even tho it has a mouth!)


Anyway, that day after exams, I played one of those $1 coin machine things. I was hoping for a cute sanrio pencil holder but i got the ugliest character of all in the machine. Sulks i was so furious!

'I'm so ugly and i have a bird on top of my head!"



Hee I'm in a very evil mood! :)

viva list will be up tmr! was tempted to go check today during dinner but decided against it.
i've been busy watching some (dumb), (trashy) taiwan show. heh it's pretty funny and i think the male lead is kinda cute. And i suppose it appeals to everyone who believes in happy endings.

the horrible show wasting my time!


over Easter, I was missed. A glimmer of hope flickered, but suddenly, it was nowhere to be found.

have no idea why i'm still up at 0243. my last paper of yr2 ended today and i came out feeling like crap. didn't study 2parts which came out cos my poor little brain was feeling so shitty mugging all the essays. i mugged two extra essays which weren't tested at all i really hate parkinsons and excitotoxicity now.ugh!! was feeling so stressed thinking about the rather difficult microb paper and now this nonsense, really couldn't take it after coming out of the hall. i just felt terribly screwed.

at least i got to go out after xxxxxxx days/weeks; it felt so weird to see buildings other than my factory-like school and feel the exciting bustle of the streets. for the past few weeks, i've been stuck at school, repeating my routine of studying, studying and more studying. felt really burnt out this sem, with waves of tests just crashing in my face. there was barely a moment's rest; just enough to keep all of us alive.

year2 isn't officially over for me, not until the much-hated viva list is out (and the supps list). please, please, please, don't let me get any of those. there's only an 11-day rest before the start of pre-clinics; followed by a 3 week break and then hello to year3. please, please, please let me pass and get to year3.

i think my blog makes for a depressing read; i'm like a whining piece of shit always complaining about unhappy stuff. Feeling very annoyed with myself right now, can't get anything right. my piano's horrid, my grades obviously suck, have no general knowledge, make a terrible friend, and losing much/all ability to think. much of what annoys me about myself seems really like aspects of my life which i have control over; that's what makes me even more annoyed. ugh. maybe things will get better when i move home. play more piano, study even more, read the papers more, call up my friends. right now, i feel very..unaccomplished and dissatisfied.

i've always been a lazy girl. i hated doing those i.q questions my parents made me do in primary school. i hated writing compositions cause i had to come up with my own content. i'm neither creative nor witty! i hated g.p because it made one rationalise. it forced me to see the many different angles of issues. i appreciated the beauty of it, but i disliked the process.

now, all i need to do is memorise (mostly). i rarely need to express an opinion about anything. i feel like i'm losing the ability to do so. ugh!

this has been my longest post ever i think. and after typing so much, i don't know what the point of it was.

to reward your patience, here's pics of me. hahaha.
(btw, it's the famous polar bear!! not me!). if u don't know who it is, yay. one up for me on current affairs! :) i only know nonsense like this.

Hi everyone! Nice to meet you.









Tsk, such a narcissist!












Good luck for exams, and hopefully soon all of us can say good riddance to year2.

1 down!
1 to go!!

Nothing is so strong as gentleness
and nothing so gentle as real strength.