Sorry carol and lu..in my sheer excitement, I typed the wrong year!
Sorry!! It's May '09!


But i can and will still go visit u lu! :)

quarrelled with mum and dad over going diving in June. That they said no isn't an unexpected outcome but I was more disappointed by the way everything went, rather than the outcome itself. It always happens the same way. Need I say more?

But sad things aside, the prof finally replied me. I should be all set to go to China in May'08. Yippppppeeeeeeeeeee. So glad that she has friends there. I can even meet lu there cos i'll be at beijing! :)

So for now, my short-term goal in life will be to pass ortho, paeds and o&g. Having to do another re-posting will mean passing up my chance to go to China.

I'm confused.

waiting for 630 to come so I can go for salsa. We had a hypnosis session earlier where there was a 'mass hypnosis' thing. Kinda cool, dunno if i went into it totally or just fell asleep. heh.

I need to learn to be more sensible. Can somebody teach me please?

The long weekend is coming to an end! :(

Psych is a really good posting to catch up on other activities. I'm starting to feel like a normal person. And because mum and dad were away, cho and i had the car to ourselves. I could get used to having my own car and driving everyday! If only. Haha.

Regret packing so many activities into the weekend. I'm currently rushing my write-up which is due on Monday. So tired. Haha, it felt like ecumenism day on good friday. A and i brought some protestant friends for mass, and I went for n's cg gathering in the evening. the afternoon was spent discussing our plans for exchange..and supper was dessert at yilin's place! She made very very yummy desserts. Poached pear, chocolate cake and cream puffs. I'm drooling just thinking of it. Today was spent at east coast. Too bad that it rained! Cycling in the rain made me cold and sticky. whine.

Mum and dad just came back. On one hand, I'm really happy that they're back. On the other, it feels kinda sian. I appreciate being left alone and not being nagged at. The past week, I could relax with a book and music, and bum around doing random things. There was no background noise, and no arguing over silly things. It started just 5min after they came home. Welcome back to reality!

P.s. Carol made my day by calling last wk! :) sigh, too bad that we only talked for a grand total of 3min before i had to go. Hope u had a good trip dear.

I'm really very upset now. Some stuff happened and sth mum did just reminded me abt all those weird things that happened during her bout of illness last time. It's really very painful to see someone u love act like that. And the fact that I couldn't do anything about it at all just made it worse. It makes me cry. All those fucking stupid techniques and comforting shit we learn in cofm and psych med don't help at all. There's my mum accusing me of being an uncaring daughter out there in the hall, me being the stupid middle person, and coming back into the room hearing my sister bitch and bitch and bitch. Like shut up already. I know how hard it is too, for mum to be in one of her annoying moods. Sometimes, I want to just turn around and tell my sis to shut the fuck up but I know what the outcome will be. I'm too tired to start another fight.

Results were out yest. I'm happy this year :) They're average but I'm happy cos I did better than last year.

Sometimes, I feel like I have everything and yet, I have nothing. There seems to be an unexplained feeling of emptiness and meaningless.

Today, we saw a boy formerly from the gifted stream and our brother sch who had sunk into depression because he couldn't keep up with the academic stresses of life. That, in addition to his expectations, parental pressure and the fact that everyone around him had gone on to our jc. He had done so poorly he didn't even make it to jc. And he wasn't the only poor kid.

Who in the world gave us these ideas that we have to do well academically so that we can...I don't know, get a good job and pay for the house,car,kids,nice handbag,etc. Doing well in sch seems to be such a necessity that once we fail to attain such standards, our self-esteem and how others view us (whether or not that matters is another issue) decrease exponentially.

Yes, education is important but it seems to be the ultimate goal for many. I cannot claim to understand his situation - my setbacks are nothing compared to his. I would never know what would have become of me should I have failed my O's or A's. There is such a delicate balance btwn educating, challenging and bringing out the best in our young, and driving them to sheer frustration and insanity.

I was so angry with myself in the afternoon! In a moment of carelessness, I deleted all the msgs in my inbox. Never mind that they were taking up so much space that i kept having an 'inbox is full' msg. At that moment, it just felt like such a pity to have all the nice msgs I had painstakingly accumulated erased in all of a second! :S

But I did feel abit better 5min later. Afterall, it was getting annoying having to keep checking for unimpt stuff to delete. Getting rid of the clutter wasn't such a bad idea. I should start doing that for all the other aspects of my life. I really function best in a neat and tidy environment..That is just too much work though. Too many things, and too little discipline.

Met up with qing and lu over the weekend. It was for all of 2 hrs but it was good fun girly yet not totally brainless talk. (more clutter there).Thanks girls, I really seldom laugh like that anymore. And carol :) I will reply soon!!

Start of psychological Med posting today. Excited about what the next 4 weeks will bring. Rain disrupted my swimming plans. Pls dun rain tmr!

Yay that the exams are over :)
super happy and relieved. Hope this feeling isn't short-lived..
the final viva list should be out by tmr. I'm really crossing my fingers.

This is a good time to start exercising regularly. Feel quite accomplished so far. Salsa on wed, cycling on thurs, and shopping on fri followed by salsa class. Heh, shopping is a form of exercise too! (ya, ya, watever).

Playing badminton tmr..I think i shall set my exercise routine as a twice weekly swim or jog. Beginning this week. And I have a booklist..Starting with Human Cargo : a journey among refugees, which I shall pick up at the lib tmr.

Excited about picking up new habits, looking to be non-lazy, more well-read, and fit.