immensely tired and stressed out! medicine posting is xxxx times worse than surg.
me, the sleepy grouch, officially declares a state of emergency of hardcore reading and less leisurely activities (things which 'waste time', technically defined as anything not involving studying).

as it turns out, someone was hurt by what i did. it was absolutely unintentional and i'm glad the misunderstanding has been cleared up. He wrote me a poem (in Chinese!), with our names and friendship intertwined in the lines of words. Happy that i've gained a new friend, definitely not the hi-bye kind.

crumbled to the evil fever bug last nite, and i gave myself an off-day today. last nite, in btwn trying to fall asleep and deciding whether or not to go today, i was fretting about the hw i was supposed to present about the causes and management of pleural effusion. Now that i'm in a new group for this Medicine posting, i feel kinda lost. no more sher, no more 2 guys i was familiar with. It's quite tiring not having anyone to really talk to the whole time.

85 posts since my first, and i'm contemplating doing sth very evil indeed.

Happy birthday lu :)
have a wonderful surprise dinner with ghim.

it's midweek girls..2 days more to the weekend.
hang in there.

Uh, in an awkward situation cos I think the person i'll be working with all the way till about november has strangely decided to keep asking me out for movies. With so many pple around me attached, I feel quite lonely sometimes cos everyone has someone to do every single thing with. I wouldn't have minded going out for the movies, but it's bad to lead pple on. He's a nice person to hang out with, and i would have if not becos of that.

My second write-up is due this monday and I'm not even halfway thru! Surgery posting is fast coming to an end which means my end-of-posting test will be in these 2 weeks. Hope i'll pass! meeting up with chris this thursday. Anyone else who is free is welcome to come along :)

Going to work on my write-up now..If all goes well and the ill-disciplined pig in me doesn't fall asleep I'll be on my way for a jog then a birthday party in the evening.

I love You, I need You.
Though my world may fall,
I'll never let You go.
My Savior, my closest friend,
I will worship You until the very end.

I've come to realise that it's not healthy to conceal emotions too often. It's just a matter of time before things spill over and dirty the floor. It's tougher to clean up the mess rather than prevent it from occuring in the first place. So, I'm trying to change the way I deal with things, rather then let it all pile up and i'll become some crazy freak in the end. It's not being nice; it's being real. At other times, it's not being nice; it's being fake. Being nice and being fake are so hard to differentiate sometimes.

I've become more evil tempered of late. It makes me do and react to certain situations in a different way. I feel like i've become more confrontational..don't know if it's good or bad. I told this lady off on the train for letting her kids put their feet on the seats and kick the other passengers; and I told this dumb bimbo off at le senza for hogging the fitting room while she went out to get another babydoll in her size and even had the cheek to check out herself in front of the mirror outside for a frigging long time. All this while she had already gone in, tried on her dumb babydoll..and decided to be an idiot and chope the room in the most unglam of ways.

uh, i'm too tired to type anymore. i really like what i'm doing, but i'm so afraid of getting desensitized. Before i came in, i thought it was bad to call patients by their bed numbers and disease. Just today, we were telling each other 'eh, let's go clerk the breast'. It was only after it was said that we realised how bad it sounded. Each 'exciting' night call we hope for only means somebody else's misery. Last night, someone who was moved out of the icu because of a shortage of beds passed on; another who was only 35 succumbed to her cancer as well. It actually took all that to remind me that I'm not preparing jus for the routine chores and daily motions. Guess i'm jus all quite worn out from all the long hours to keep my ideals alive.