seeing nich again was so wonderful.

the stereotypical romantic stuff is bullshit. a sunset is only as romantic as the two make it.

no point crying.
i contributed to the loss of everything wonderful I had and could've had.
let this serve as a painful reminder to me
i've never had proper closure to that.


thank you for the easter chocolates
thank you for the sweet night out at our first band concert ever
thank you for being my project mate
thank you for asking me at the gallery
thank you for the times over at your house
thank you for my first kiss
thank you for that sunset
thank you for my first climb over a fence
thank you for all the times in between
thank you for the christmas we didnt spend together
thank you for all the notes you wrote me
thank you for the red packet
thank you for our 2nd year
thank you for the cd
thank you for the times we studied together
thank you for the times you listened to me whine, complain and cry
thank you for the whinepoutsulk combos
thank you for making me the mumu
thank you for love actually, which we didn't understand
thank you for the novenas together
thank you for the masses together
thank you, hammie


i'm sorry

it's so hard to let go of the memories
how is it possible to carry on when someone who was your life is no more
everything moves on, and you think you have too
but sometimes
when you're reading a book, listening to a song
reading a blog
it reminds you of him
and what you lost
and the aching feeling
the sick ache in your heart
just consumes you
and the tears can't help but fall
as you try to express your grief and hurt

take a step forward
take a step back

or maybe i never took that first step at all

it's been a mere 5 days since the retreat, and yet i can feel the spiritual high draining out from me already..i haven't been practising in tongues or anything..yet i dun want to lose it. I could tell myself that it's not the gifts of the spirit that matter but the fruits (which is true) though I would be simply deceiving myself. As I examine my daily life, I have yet to fulfil my penance..be patient and loving to all around me etc. It must have been tough being Christ.

For as long as i shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences
When words are not enough
With every breath i take
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love

back from my retreat..it was a great experience, knowing that god was there and that he isn't that intangible afterall. he does listen to my prayers and i know that all i need is His Love. after all the physical manifestations comes the hardest part - living out my faith and continuing to trust and have faith in Him. I must admit I was disappointed at not having been able to receive the gift of tongues fully, but thank you Lord, for giving me a sign all the same. I felt so unworthy to receive anything initially.

on another note, faculty camp is coming up. i can't believe pple actually requested for a change of groups..aren't we all twenty or even older? i dun think we're gonna get to choose who we wanna work with in future, plus this is jus a f-r-e-s-h-m-e-n O. camp. why can't we be more mature and make an effort to get to know the others? that IS the point of the camp isn't it.

zara sale was amazing. my friend blew a cool few hundred bucks 
but it was fun. Spending w/o restraint is not sth many of us can do,
and the money wasn't even his parents'. He worked for it and such
financial independence is truly enviable and admirable.

Turkish delight is..sweet, chewy and a little sticky. It tasted like
cardboard at the beginning but the taste grows on you. It became
more delicious with each chew but it made my teeth ache too.
Too sweet perhaps.

Sth one of my juniors said struck me hard..that a camp centred around God is so much better than one centred around girls. I have to admit, coming from a guy, that was very surprising.

My impression of a typical guy isn't great at all - guys cheat, watch porn, and lack emotional quotient. Looking back on what has happened the past year, I've realised that girls are about as likely to cheat (though few watch porn and most have relatively high E.Q).

Would i prefer God to guys? or guys to God?

Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that You're my God
You're altogether lovely
Altogether worthy
Altogether wonderful to me